A hundred thousand sperm and you were the fastest?.................Bumper Stickers
A real gentleman wouldn't stare at my stickers.
Answer my prayer -- steal this car.
As a matter of fact, I do own the road.
Back Off! I'm a Postal Worker
Back off! I'm not that kind of car.
Beat rush hour, leave work at noon
Bipartisanship: I'll hug your elephant if you kiss my ass
CAUTION! - Driver legally blonde!
CAUTION! I can go from 0 to BITCH in 2.5 seconds
Clear the road I'm SIXTEEN
Come The Rapture Can I Have Your Car?
Cover me! I'm changing lanes.
Daddy Farted, and we Can't get out!!
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
Don't assume I'm not into cheap meaningless sex
Don't follow me. I'm lost too.
Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
Don't worry…it's only kinky the first time.
Driver carries no cash. He's married.
Forget About World Peace. Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
FREE TIBET! (with the purchase of a 44 oz. drink).
Get off my ass before I start to like it!
God is Coming and is she PISSED
God was my co-pilot but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him
Heavily medicated for your safety.
Hello, officer. Put it on my tab.
Help! I Farted and can't roll down my windows!
Horn Broken Watch for Finger
I'm a nice guy. My car is evil.
I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to work.
I'm only driving this way to piss you off.
I'm Out of Estrogen And I Have a Gun
I'm looking for the right pedestrian to run over.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
I'm Not Losing Hair I'm Getting Head
I'm not playing with myself, I'm just adjusting my jewellery.
I'm out of bed and dressed, what more do you want?
I am not a bum. My wife works!
I brake suddenly for tailgaters
I don't care, I don't have to.
I gave up drinking, smoking and sex - Worst 15 minutes of my life
I got a gun for my wife, best trade I ever made.
I have a drink problem - I can't afford it.
I have a nice body. It's in my trunk.
I have good Brakes, Do you have GOOD Insurance?
I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere.
I is a college student.
I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back.
I love cats they taste like chicken
I may be a Cruel and Heartless Bitch But I'm damn good at it
I may be slow but I'm ahead of you!
I need someone really bad. Are you really bad?
I respect your opinion. Just don't want to hear it!
I still have the body of an 18 year old but it's in my trunk and it's starting to smell
I Still Miss My "Ex" But My Aim Is Improving
I suffer from c.r.s. (can't remember shit)
I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
I want to be just like Barbie That BITCH Has Everything!
I Wasn't Born A Bitch Men Like You Make Me That Way
If everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane!
If I wanted to hear from an asshole I'd fart
If this car is being driven courteously it's been stolen.
If we call it tourist season why can't we shoot them?
If You Are Born Again Do You Have Two Belly Buttons ?
If you are not a hemorrhoid then get off my ass!
If you can read this, I've lost my trailer.
If you don't like my attitude, stop looking at my Stickers!
Invest in America. Buy a Congressman!
It's time to pull over and change the air in your head!
It sucks to be a man in a lesbians body.
Jesus is coming look busy.
Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're an asshole
Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
Learn from your parents' mistakes. Use birth control!
Lord give me patience... But Hurry!
Make It Idiot Proof and Someone Will Make a Better Idiot
Men are Idiots and I married their King
My daughter turned down your honor student!
My Goddess Gave Birth To Your God
My other bumper sticker is funny.
My other car is a broom
My other car is also a piece of junk
Of All The Things I've Lost I Miss My Mind The Most
Out of my mind (back in 5 minutes)
Pissing off the whole planet one person at a time
Politicians & Diapers need to be changed... often for the same reason
Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself
Sex is my religion.. let us pray!
So Many Cats, So Few Recipes
So many pedestrians. So little time!
Somewhere in Texas there's a village missing an idiot
Sorry if I look interested, I'm not!
THE EARTH IS FULL GO HOME
Think this looks bad? You should see the front.
This Is Not An Abandoned Vehicle
Why Are You Staring At My Bumper!? You Pervert!
Work harder!! Millions on welfare are depending on you.
Yes, This Is My Truck No, I Won't Help You Move
Your child may be an honors student, but You're still an idiot.
YOU SAY I'M A BITCH LIKE IT'S A BAD THING
*******************************************************************************************************************************

A bear walks into a bar in Billings , Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings." The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings" The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs." The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs." .......You're gonna love this......... The bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate

********************************************************************************************************************************

THE REDNECK DICTIONARY OF MEDICAL TERMS
Benign.................What you be after you be eight.
Artery.................The study of paintings.
Bacteria...............Back door to cafeteria.
Barium.................What doctors do when patients die
Cesarean Section....... A neighborhood in Rome.
CTscan................Searching for kitty.
Cauterize.............Made eye contact with her.
Colic...................A sheep dog.
Coma..................A punctuation mark.
D & C.................Where washington is.
Dilate...............To live long.
Enema.............Not a friend.
Fester..............Quicker than someone else.
Fibula..............A small lie.
Genital...........Non - Jewish person.
G.I. Series......World Serious of military baseball.
Hangnail........What you hang your coat on.
Impotent...... Distinguished, well known.
Post Operative...... A letter carrier.
Recovery Room...... Place to do upholstery.
Rectum...............Damn near killed him.
Secretion............Hiding something.
Seizure..............Roman Emperor.
Tablet..............A small table.
Terminal Illness..... Getting sick at the airport.
Tumor.................More than one.
Urine..................Oppositeof you're out.
Varicose..............Near by / close by

********************************************************************************************************************************

Q: Why are the Star Trek Enterprise crew and toilet paper alike?
A: They are both going to Uranus to wipe out the Klingons
********************************************************************************************************************************

. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."

********************************************************************************************************************************

Golf

David Letterman's Top Ten Reasons
Why Golf Is Better Than Sex.....


#10... A below par performance
is considered damn good.

#9... You can stop in the middle
and have a cheeseburger
and a couple of beers.

#8... It's much easier to
find the sweet spot.

#7... Foursomes are encouraged.


#6... You can still make money
doing it as a senior.

#5... Three times a day is possible.

#4... Your partner doesn't hire
a lawyer if you play
with someone else.

#3... If you live in Florida , you
can do it almost everyday.

#2... You don't have to cuddle
with your partner when
you're finished.

And the NUMBER ONE reason
why golf is better than sex.....

#1... If your equipment gets old
and rusty, you can replace it!

********************************************************************************************************************************

Here are six reasons why you should think before you speak -
the last one is great!
Have you ever spoken and wished that you could
immediately take the words back...
or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials of a few people who did....


FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow
and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word...
he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes,
I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works
at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like
playing with mens balls"

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and
passed by a store that sold a
variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case,
the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day,
my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon,
my toddler decided to release
some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of
her after receiving looks of disgust
and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving
"right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just
was threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma that I saw you
kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and
walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were
screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever ! asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training
and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between
errands
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco,
I smelled something funny,
so of course I checked
my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
The realized that Danny
had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go,
and he said "No".
I kept thinking
"Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any
clothes with me."
Then I said,
"Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell
was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ?
This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants,
bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos
Laughing,
he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better,
thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days
and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that,
the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't,
turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard

********************************************************************************************************************************

Proud To Be White

Someone finally said it.

How many are actually paying attention to this?

There are African Americans, Mexican Americans,

Asian Americans, Arab Americans, Native Americans, etc.

And then there are just Americans.

You pass me on the street and sneer in my direction.

You Call me "White boy," "Cracker," "Honkey,"

"Whitey," "Caveman" . and that's OK.

But when I call you, Nigger, Kike, Towel head, Sand-nigger,

camel Jockey, Beaner, Gook, or Chink ... you call me a racist.

You say that whites commit a lot of violence against you,

so why are the ghettos the most dangerous places to live?

You have the United Negro College Fund. You have Martin Luther King

Day. You have Black History Month. You have Cesar Chavez Day. You

have Yom Hashoah You have Ma'uled Al-Nabi You have the NAACP.

You have BET.

If we had WET (White Entertainment Television) ... we'd be racists.

If we had a White Pride Day .. you would call us racists.

If we had White History Month .. we'd be racists.

If we had any organization for only whites to "advance" OUR lives ...

we'd be racists.

We have a Hispanic Chamber of Commerce, a Black Chamber of

Commerce, and then we just have the plain Chamber of Commerce.

Wonder who pays for that?

If we had a college fund that only gave white students scholarships

... you know we'd be racists. There are over 60 openly proclaimed

Black Colleges in the US , yet if there were "White colleges" .

THAT would be a racist college.

In the Million Man March, you believed that you were marching

for your race and rights. If we marched for our race and rights,

you would call us racists.

You are proud to be black, brown, yellow and orange, and you're

not afraid to announce it. But when we announce our white pride ...

you call us racists.

You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us. But, when a white police officer

shoots a black gang member or beats up a black drug-dealer running

from the law and posing a threat to society ... you call him a racist.

I am proud.

But, you call me a racist.

Why is it that only whites can be racists?

There is nothing improper about this e-mail.

Let's see which of you are proud enough to send it on

*******************************************************************************************************************************

Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.

Windex
Do not spray in eyes.

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.

Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended that either be permitted to drink from toilet.

Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited under certain circumstances.

Baby Oil
Keep out of reach of children

Little Ones Baby Lotion
Keep away from children

Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.

Wet-Nap
Directions: Tear open packet and use.

Dial Soap
Directions: Use like regular soap.
Stridex Foaming Face Wash
May contain foam.

Hairdryer:
Do not use while taking a shower.

Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant
Use only on underarms.Zantac 75
Do not take if allergic to zantac.

Sleeping Pills
Warning: May cause Drowsiness

Christmas Lights
Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.

Bic Lighter
Ignite lighter away from face.

Komatsu Floodlight
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark

Fire Extinguisher:
Caution: Non-Flamable

Earplugs
These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe

Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow

Matches
Caution: Contents may catch fire.

Pepper Spray
Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.

Auto-Shade Widnshield Visor
Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition.

Fix-a-Flat
WARNING: Do not weld can to rim.

Rain Gauge
Suitable for outdoor use.

RCA Television Remote Control
Not Dishwasher Safe

Pine Mountain Fire Logs
Caution: Risk of fire

Triops Fish Food
Warning: Not for human consumption

Home Depot Treated Lumber
Do not consume

Hair Dryer
Warning: Do not use while sleeping.

Road Sign
Caution water on road during rain.

Camera
This camera will only work when film is inside.

Road Sign
Cemetery Road. Dead End

Church Parking Lot Sign
Thou shalt not park

Children's Superman Costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.

Silk Soy Milk
Shake well and buy often

Air Conditioner
Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.

Rowenta Iron
Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.

Slush Puppy Cup
This ice may be cold

American Airlines Peanuts
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

Nabisco Easy Cheese
For best results, remove cap.

Swanson TV Dinners
This product must be cooked before eating.

Hershey's Almond Bar
Warning: May contain traces of nuts

Heinz Ketchup
Instructions: Put on food

500-piece puzzle:
Some assembly required.

Beach Ball
CAUTION: It is not a life saving device.

Chainsaw
Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.

Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

Bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

Bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.

Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.

Hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.

Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.

Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

Packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.

Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.

String of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.

Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.

American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children

Helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists:
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you

New Zealand insect spray:
This product not tested on animals.

Blanket from taiwan:
not to be used as protection from a tornado

Cardboard windshield sun shade:
Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place.

Infant's bathtub:
Do not throw baby out with bath water.

Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges:
Not meant as substitute for human companionship.

Disposable razor:
Do not use this product during an earthquake.

Bottle of shampoo for dogs
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.

Curling Iron
Warning: This product can burn eyes.

Hair Dryer
Do not use in shower.

Hair Dryer
Do not use while sleeping.

Hand-held Massaging Device
Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.

Case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
Do not place this product into any electronic equipment.

A toilet at a public sports facility
Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.

Pair of shin guards made for bicyclists
Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

Container of Underarm Deodorant.
Caution: Do not spray in eyes.

Aim-n-Flame fireplace lighter.
Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks.

Toner cartridge for a laser printer
Do not eat toner.

13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow
Not intended for highway use.

Can of self-defense pepper spray.
May irritate eyes.

Novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock"
Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth.

A frisbee
Warning: May contain small parts.

A toilet bowl cleaning brush.
Do not use orally.

A birthday card for a 1 year old.
Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.

Heated seat cushion
Warning: Do not use on eyes.

Microwave Oven:
Do not use for drying pets.

Electric Cattle Prod
For use on animals only.

Can of air freshener.
For use by trained personnel only.

Silly Putty
Do not use as ear plugs.

Knife sharpening stone
Warning: knives are sharp!

Deodorant
Do not use intimately.

Rat Poison
Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.

Portable stroller
Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.

Dashboard of a mail truck
Look before driving.

Children's cough medicine
Do not drive car or operate machinery.

Sign at a railroad station
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death.
Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.

Bottom of a supermarket dessert box
Do not turn upside down.

Package of dice.
Not for human consumption.

Bottled Drink:
Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth.

Shipment of hammers
May be harmful if swallowed.

Manual for an SGI computer.
Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.

Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle
Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.

Electric Thermometer.
Do not use orally after using rectally.

Packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
Turn off motor before using this product.

6x10 inch inflatable picture frame
Not to be used as a personal flotation device.

Box of bottle rockets
Do not put in mouth.

Wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack
Remove plastic before eating.

Box for a car jack
For lifting purposes only.

Instructions for a cordless phone:
Do not put lit candles on phone.

Small print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean
Do not drive cars in ocean.

Small print from a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert
Always drive on roads. Not on people.

Bus Stop
No stopping or standing.

Church Sign
These rows reserved for parents with children.

Bag of Fritos
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

Credit card statement.
Payment is due by the due date.

Laundromat triple washer
No small children.

Sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building
Take care: new non-slip surface.

Box of Pills
Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone.

Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.

Can of black pepper.
Instructions: usage known.

Bag of cat biscuits
Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants.

Car Manual
In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors.

Espresso Kettle
The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position.

T.V. manual
Do not pour liquids into your television set.

Label on a hammer
Caution - Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object

VCR box
Instructional video on hooking up VCR included.

Toilet brush
Do not use for personal hygiene.

Black rubber fishing worm
Not for human consumption.

Orange Juice Can:
100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate.

Depend Adult Diapers
Step into underwear and pull them on just like regular underwear.

Furniture Wipes
Do not use for a baby wipe.

Stickers to put on the seat of a potty training toilet
This is not a toy. Stickers require adult supervision.

Lawnmower
Warning: When Motor Is Running - The Blade Is Turning

Instructions on the bottom of a grocery store pizza
Do not turn upside down.

Bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle
Do not open here.

Bottle of bathtub cleaner
For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.

Container of lighter fluid
WARNING: Contents flammable!

Box of household nails
CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!

Microwave popcorn, packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it
Direction #1: Remove plastic.

Drink bottle label
Do not peel label off.

Woolite carpet cleaner
Safe for carpets, too!

Box of Frosted Cheerio's
The logo, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here."

Sterno
Do not use near fire or flame.

Container of salt
Warning: High in sodium

Hose Nozzle
Do not spray into electrical outlet.

***************************************************************************************************************************

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a 'drop off' (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping horse which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is another galloping horse. Both horses are also traveling at the same speed as you . What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

For the answer click and drag your mouse from star to star.
* Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round. *

****************************************************************************************************************************

Gynecologist Visit


A b eautiful woman went to the gynecologist. The doctor took one look at the woman and all his professionalism flew out the window. He immediately told her to get undressed.


After she disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. While
Doing so he asked her,

"Do you know what I am doing?"



"Yes," she replied, "You are checking for abrasions or
Dermatological abnormalities."



"That's right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her Breasts.

"Do you know what I am doing now?"

he asked.



"Yes," she said, "You are checking for lumps which might indicate Breast cancer."



"Correct," replied the shady doctor. Finally, he mounted his
Patient and started having sexual intercourse with her. He asked,
"Do you know what I am doing now?"


"Yes," she said, "You're getting herpes: which is why I came

here i n the first place."

****************************************************************************************************************************